Maybe it's time..

I've been thinking about life lately and about 20 years of life (or death) just flashed pass my mind in a moment. It all made me wanting to post this here even though I'm really in a busy mess of sorts. Well, I guess I'll share one incident that just crossed my mind a few minutes ago:
When I was a little boy, my dad never gave me anything I wanted. I think this has it consequences on me; I covet for money $o$ . Anyways, he does give me stuff once in a while but never things I wanted. One day, he gave a really nice wristwatch. And what I did with is was I sold it to my brothers classmate for RM1. I was a child, naive in all it's senses it will ever have. Since then, I've never been able to keep a watch till old age. sigh.

I've losing things, a lot of them. Things I didn't think would matter until when I need it but I don't have it. My RM1.8K phone was picked-pocketed the day I bought it. Yeah, *true story*

I can't tell what this means to me or to you but please don't get me wrong; I am not emo-ing or blaming someone because it all happened. I ain't shooting no one down (at least not here, not now). Maybe I want you people to know that the world isn't a fairy-tail land with rainbows, pony or fairies. It's fierce out there. battles taking place in dimensions never known to man kind just decades ago.　Ｓｏ，　ｔａｋｅ　ｃａｒｅ　（ＴＣ）
Or maybe it carries another alternative interpretation(?). Well, I will leave that to your imaginations and ability to conjure up morale boosting lessons in your mind.

When I say the world is not a good place, I'm ain't excluding myself at all. Many people are out-lookers, searching for so -called 'negative externalities' in their surrounding environment, in individuals revolving around them but who ever does soul-searching nowadays? For me, I felt that maybe it was time for me to calm down in this fret-filled life and think about things that do matter.
I've ｂｅｅｎ　a real bad guy and turning worse recently. I am a habitual thieve and consequently a damn liar as well ( to cover up my thievery). I hated, I judged people, I did many things to hurt them. And recently, I even turned about to bite those who are around me. I know I was wrong but the apostasy in me is a raging flood. I just can't stop myself from doing bad. It's a part of me now.

Thanks to that, my current life portraits a sloppy lazy poor guy who is overly conscious about his image in the world while judging other without even knowing what they've been through (I'm sorry). And I thought to myself, I am not gonna be this guy anymore. I want a change. I wanna be normal again. So, I determined in myself that from this moment onward. I'll be different.

There are many factors that affect changes but that's not what I wanted to share. Hope you get my message and repond commensurately. =D Till next time.