To start off, I'm gonna narrate to you the reasons I could be sulking and ranting on. Today is a Saturday. We planned to go watch Michael Bay's Transformers 4 which was at that time new. I had no money in my wallet and what money I have, doesn't belong to me. Next, there were some technical problems when picking up the attendees. After getting the tix, we went to lunch at Ori Spice. My food came last. We then went to withdraw money but apparently, my bank account was at a lost too. I withdrew minimum anyways to go through the day. We then head back to the cinema, grab some popcorn and head to the movie hall. Half way through the movie, I realized that my phone strap was broken. Sadly, the movie had its' high and lows and many of us confess we took involuntary snoozes during the lows. In the background, an event in Heroes of Newerth (HON) for its' 3rd anniversary was ongoing from 3pm- 7pm. The movie started 3.30pm. I knew about the timing clash but I thought that I could make it. I forgot that I could told my friend earlier so he could help me with the event and I could worry for less. I decided for them that we head home hoping that I can catch up with the said event but our transport had more technical (or chronicled) problems. Apparently some other movie goers called for the same earlier and we had to wait for the following round. By then I realized that I will not make it and tried to find friends who could help but then realize i should have done that before three. Obviously none was able to help given the limited time. We separated as some when for dinner while I headed for home, kinda frustrated. I quickly launched HON but to no avail. Grinded a few games but end up losing both the MMR and KDR. I guess you can't play on a bad mood. Its' just that bad.
Well, it's not my point to rant about the above but I just want to let you know what had happened today through my pessimistic eyes. I felt really regretful for going for the movie knowing it is a saturday plus the amazingly rewarding event that I missed. Why I choose not to rant about these things? 1. I thought to myself, "Why did this happen to me in the first place?" 2. I thought what would others feel if I rant? 3.What is the future of me ranting?
The first question is personal and every individual would have their own version of answers. I will not share mine for the sake of your views and opinions. What I can tell you is that everything happens for a reason and it was a mistake of mine that needed this punishment. So what I was looking for when I asked myself this question was where did I go wrong to deserve this judgment. Well, the list is really long!
The second question shows that I care how others would feel. Basically, a man-pleaser. I don't care what others think of me but I care about how they feel. I don't want others to be affected/ to respond negatively to my times of lowness. Therefore I keep my mouth shut. It doesn't mean that I am indifferent towards everything I love but I just care about humans more than I care about my career/ my joy. And its' true that I hurt because I am an emotional soul.
Then, I went on to think what good would it bring me if I were to rant? Let's see, we can't change the past. We certainly can't predict the future. I can't guarantee me a win in HON even if I participate but I might lose some friends. Lose people I care about. Not everyone I spend time with are people I care about though. I find some people obnoxious. I once told a friend that I can love any girl because they have boobs. But boy, was I wrong. We grow up, we learn more truth.
I guess this is my diary and that is his. Well, I hope I don't forget to write anything else that I wanted to. That would be a real bummer.
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Interest Rekindled (Hopefully for good this time)
To be honest, I've never hated blogging. I just felt there was more important things to do. You know, the so called "busy" life of a bachelor. Games. Movies. Series. Sleeeeeeeeep.
-_______-
Now that I've begin to ditch the gaming scene and the busy part of my university life was over, I came back here. Surprise! Well, I did not prodigalize here on a whim though. There was one motivation on facebook on why the writer thinks I should blog. The link is provided below (if you're ever interested to read it).
Anyways, I've always been forgetful. My alternative name was named after "forgeting the (bitter) past". And all I do is forget the past. Well, most of it. I have this friend who I call to have 500 terrabytes (TB) or memory brain power. He remembers points in time where I totally forgot like something a girl said a year ago to then time when he was still dependent on his mother's mammary capabilities. He seems to have the whole space-time continuum down. He is able to work on games for a long period of time, getting better the more time he spent on it even if he stopped playing for years. Hell, if I start playing Mario now, I'll virtually jump right off a cliff. I realized that I've been spending quite some time on trying to bring out something quite simple actually. All I wanted to say in this paragraph is that I won't be writing something happen far in the past because of the simple reason of my messed but space-time continuum, in terms of my unreasonably short memory (which is also another reason for me to blog).
Watching certain movies and many serials made me to realize that people are often compensating for something they lack. Somethings just can't be changed given the circumstances they're in. And I start to wonder, I'm definitely having some lacking in my life. Maybe you can say that I have a number of lackings, quite serious ones at that but what am I doing to actually compensate for them? One troubling lacking that I have is a physical one that I am constantly conscious of. Am I tall because of that? Do I have average stats because of that? Suddenly I thought of one thing that made me think that it was my compensation. Ma eyes! Dayum in my community, it's unique to have eye colours other than black. My eyes turn out to be a little more brown than the status quo. I admit, it has granted me a good amount of recognition. I'm proud of it, but sometimes, I wish that I am all normal. Yes, I'd give away my eye colour to get everything back to normal - at least physically. Then I start to wonder what are my beard compensating for? hmmm... I wonder.
well, today I slept in a little longer than I should have. It was not without reason. I was having this dream every cherry bachelor in his 20s would fancy. There was this girl. She wasn't a perfect girl (I'm not perfect myself) but I was attracted to her. There were subtle infirmities in her eyes but I love them all the same. She's a girl who I'd pass on in my full consciousness but I find myself sub-consciously flirting with her. We were like the "Romeo & Juliet" of my dream. Forbidden but strong love existed. Wierd things happens in dreams. She was using a Colgate branded lipstick and my lips turn sticky after a smooch. I jokingly said that it was her only flaw and if she fixed that, I'll go on a forth date with her. She smiled and then I woke up. It is dreams like this that keep me in bed a little while longer. Yet a little sleep, yet a little slumber. Tossing and turning, all in effort to continue the dream but alas, a dream remains one....until I make it come true. But a dream will never come true unless I wake up and get things done. So here I am to record my motivation this day, so the future me can come back and get re-motivated by the past me.
I read a post of a pick up artist saying that pick up artistry makes you the loneliest because you make yourself immune to the feelings that naturally come to you when with someone you really like. Don't judge a book by it's cover. It is highly likely that the opposite of what you judge is true.
Check out this short article(s):
15 Reasons I Think You Should Blog
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/15-reasons-i-think-you-should-blog/
The Science of Seduction: What I learned from the summer I spent as a pick up artist
http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-science-of-seduction-my-summer-as-a-pick-up-artist/
-_______-
Now that I've begin to ditch the gaming scene and the busy part of my university life was over, I came back here. Surprise! Well, I did not prodigalize here on a whim though. There was one motivation on facebook on why the writer thinks I should blog. The link is provided below (if you're ever interested to read it).
Anyways, I've always been forgetful. My alternative name was named after "forgeting the (bitter) past". And all I do is forget the past. Well, most of it. I have this friend who I call to have 500 terrabytes (TB) or memory brain power. He remembers points in time where I totally forgot like something a girl said a year ago to then time when he was still dependent on his mother's mammary capabilities. He seems to have the whole space-time continuum down. He is able to work on games for a long period of time, getting better the more time he spent on it even if he stopped playing for years. Hell, if I start playing Mario now, I'll virtually jump right off a cliff. I realized that I've been spending quite some time on trying to bring out something quite simple actually. All I wanted to say in this paragraph is that I won't be writing something happen far in the past because of the simple reason of my messed but space-time continuum, in terms of my unreasonably short memory (which is also another reason for me to blog).
Watching certain movies and many serials made me to realize that people are often compensating for something they lack. Somethings just can't be changed given the circumstances they're in. And I start to wonder, I'm definitely having some lacking in my life. Maybe you can say that I have a number of lackings, quite serious ones at that but what am I doing to actually compensate for them? One troubling lacking that I have is a physical one that I am constantly conscious of. Am I tall because of that? Do I have average stats because of that? Suddenly I thought of one thing that made me think that it was my compensation. Ma eyes! Dayum in my community, it's unique to have eye colours other than black. My eyes turn out to be a little more brown than the status quo. I admit, it has granted me a good amount of recognition. I'm proud of it, but sometimes, I wish that I am all normal. Yes, I'd give away my eye colour to get everything back to normal - at least physically. Then I start to wonder what are my beard compensating for? hmmm... I wonder.
well, today I slept in a little longer than I should have. It was not without reason. I was having this dream every cherry bachelor in his 20s would fancy. There was this girl. She wasn't a perfect girl (I'm not perfect myself) but I was attracted to her. There were subtle infirmities in her eyes but I love them all the same. She's a girl who I'd pass on in my full consciousness but I find myself sub-consciously flirting with her. We were like the "Romeo & Juliet" of my dream. Forbidden but strong love existed. Wierd things happens in dreams. She was using a Colgate branded lipstick and my lips turn sticky after a smooch. I jokingly said that it was her only flaw and if she fixed that, I'll go on a forth date with her. She smiled and then I woke up. It is dreams like this that keep me in bed a little while longer. Yet a little sleep, yet a little slumber. Tossing and turning, all in effort to continue the dream but alas, a dream remains one....until I make it come true. But a dream will never come true unless I wake up and get things done. So here I am to record my motivation this day, so the future me can come back and get re-motivated by the past me.
I read a post of a pick up artist saying that pick up artistry makes you the loneliest because you make yourself immune to the feelings that naturally come to you when with someone you really like. Don't judge a book by it's cover. It is highly likely that the opposite of what you judge is true.
Check out this short article(s):
15 Reasons I Think You Should Blog
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/15-reasons-i-think-you-should-blog/
The Science of Seduction: What I learned from the summer I spent as a pick up artist
http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-science-of-seduction-my-summer-as-a-pick-up-artist/
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