hell, i don't feel like writting anymore..

Today... was...

Sigh, today was a day that I didnt do much.. just slept, do littleeeeee paper work and watch anime... play alteil... and mostly slept... sigh... At night I made contact with otoh-sama, but he wasnt too keen for my return... ask me to find out a way by myself, mostly.. Well, it's been like that since the day I left home.. I kinda used to it.. Anywhere I turn, it's the same; I feel rejected, bored and unwanted.. Hope I son't suicide soon enough..

A New Room

sigh.. today was a really down day.. the rain came down a lot of times.. and I feeling kinda down..nobody is probab;y reading this and I'm not even looking at the screen while I am typing this.. But I've finish the process of moving to a new room.. all the packing, carrying, cleaning.. unpack- remake a home out of scratch... sigh all that done, yet I'm not satisfied.. something is missing..
I wanna be like someone I admire.. having no worries of BGR coz I'm really entangled in this issue lately.. I just wanna enjoy life and do everthing out there. but now, I'm just down.. hope things get better soon...

Quest

PLease Read!

Wall Photos

‎))This is a Story...Please read this!


Hi, Mommy.

...I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few
weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got
beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I
will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me
your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we
have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to
be a doctor when I grow up.



You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't
wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was
perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I
will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.



Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about
me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that
you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did
something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad
for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It
doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I
do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I
don't like it, Mommy.



Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.



I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your
hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love
you, Mommy.



Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't
know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want
us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?



You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?



It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or
touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I
still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug
me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?



I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going
somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.



...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't
know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think
something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love
you!



Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It
feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!



Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They
told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.



Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you
get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something
wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why
don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want
to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say
you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and
see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I
want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!





I love you, Mommy.



Every abortion is just…



One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

One more soul that will never understand true love.



If you’re against abortion, reblog.

Quest Ong

FIrst time at a Blog!

today I wanted to awake at 5AM to go eat breakfast..@@
but I failed to and woke up feeling that I decided to start a Blog! ^^"

Don't have much right now but I hope this will grow into something better later on!

Having my first sem break now and reading people's blogs is what i do when i get bored.
=(

staying at Kampar is worse than i thought...

Oh well. Its going to move soon, so hope that place will be better!>,<

Later got alteil tourney.. Yoshu! planted the 'blog' seed, let's get ready for tourney at 9AM!!

Ciaosu.